Scars
by gabii-something-person
Summary: Bella had a bad childhood. Edward is in love with Bella and she doesn't know it. Edward saves Bella and finally admits his love. Bella is not used to being loved and her instinct is to believe its a lie. Full summary inside. Dark/Romance -rated-M-
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**** Readers. Read my PROFILE you will understand why im writing this then. Though; this is a story that I can – about 3% of it – relate to. Some may know what that is, some may not, but im not gong to flaunt it out and shout it to the world. I know im a bit – something – in the head.. So here it goes. I really hope you like it and all..  
****Disclaimer****: I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it..i just own Scars..and the scars..  
****Song of inspiration: ****Linkin Park – Easier To Run**

Full Summary: Bella lived a horror filled childhood and even though now it's over the memories haunt her to the point of harm. Edward is the boy who was always there even though she didn't know it. He loves her. She finds him extremely attractive but thinks she's not good enough for him, it's her natural instinct. When Bella tries to run from school a day Edward does too without knowing she was right around the corner behind the bushes wanting to turn the other way. Though not everything goes as planned. Watch as Edward proves his love for Bella and as she does everything she knows to lie to herself and believe him otherwise. A/H. A/U. E/R_J/A_E/B_C/E 3

Chapter 1- The beginning

_I held the knife an inch away from my wrist, the blue vein just begging me to pierce it. The tears still trickled down my face as my breathing became shallow. I didn't try to think things over; I just _went along with it_. Puffy red scars on my wrist were screaming at me to open them again. It would make me happy. The painful sting is a happy need to feel _something _to feel happy…even if it may bring pain._

_I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my teeth together, pushing the knife down. The familiar sting of the knife and warmth spread quickly through my lower arm. I smiled and breathed out the air I didn't know I was holding hostage._

_These scars on my arms and my fingers are nothing but relief that I can still feel anything at all. Though the other scars that weren't cause by my knife are just a sign that I'm not wanted in this world. So why should I even bother?  
_  
"Isabella? Have you been harming yourself?" Mr. Greene asked. I looked down and pulled down the sleeves of my top, trying to hide something that wasn't even on view.

"No," I answered. Even though my eyes were looking down on my lap, I knew Mr. Greene's eyes were on me, they were burning holes in my skull. I couldn't look up, Mr. Greene would try to keep eye contact, and I can never look someone in the eyes and lie. I can't even lie looking somewhere else. I hate that about me.

"Are you sure about that Isabella? Could I please possibly see your arms?" He said, as I shook my head no.

"Isabella, let me see your arms, as the head teacher of Forks High it is my responsibility to know whether my students are in danger from themselves or possibly other students. So Isabella, let me see your arms," he said firmly.

I looked up. I sighed. I stood up. I turned around and walked out before Mr. Greene could say anything. I walked out of his office and into the hallway, and out of the school.

I ran out into the parking lot but was lost to what to do. I _could_ go and sit in my truck and wait for Rosalie, which would also mean that Mr. Greene could find me today again or I could just go home and hope Emmett could bring her back.

Going home and hoping Emmett brings her back; that _was_ my choice.

Then I rememberered Rosalie had the keys. Perfection. So now I had two options again; walk home or sit in the back of my truck and wait for Rosalie, which once again would probably end up in me getting back to Mr. Greene's office.

Walking it is.

I sighed and pushed my bag fully over my back after I took my iPod out. I pushed play and listened as the calming sounds of Linkin Park played through the head phones. It was calming and tuned out all other sounds which held none of my interests.

I turned the corner of the parking lot but changed my mind to take the longer way, time to think, maybe go and sit in the meadow for a little while. I turned around and went to cross the street to walk the other way but half way through something hard hit my right leg and I fell to the ground.

The impact wasn't hard but the fall wasn't light ether. I lay on the ground for about five seconds before my earphones were ripped out of my ears and the music disappeared; letting all the other unwelcome sounds back into my head.

Well except for one sound. One voice…

"Bella?" Edward's voice said and he sounded panicked. I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful emerald green eyes, and the messy bronze hair that I always wanted to put my hands through.

I looked at him and his eyes were worried. My eyes were like water glass…watery but glass.

"No, shit please Bella tell me I didn't kill you?" he panicked more. He leaned in to see if I was breathing; I held my breath.

"Shit," he whispered. He quickly looked into my eyes before he leaned down and set his lips on mine, parting them and breathed his air into me. I have dreamed of his lips on mine, around mine and on me.

I breathed out.

Edward noticed this and quickly placed his hands on ether side of my face, pulling back he looked back into my eyes. I blinked. His eyes were full of shock, relief and now; lust. He leaned down and set his lips on mine again. This time, though, he didn't push air back to my lungs. No, this time he was kissing me and I have no idea why. He parted my lips with his and with the tip of his tongue he touched my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I granted freely.

He kissed me slowly and to my surprise; I kissed him back. Our lips moved in sync and our breathing became rigid, which was our cue to break apart and breathe.

"Thank god you're alive…"he breathed, his breath washing over my face.

"Not for long…"I breathed out and closed my eyes, then gulped as I tried to get the saliva down my throat.

"Not if I can help it, c'mon we need to get you to the hospital and get you checked out," Edward said and stood up then leaned down to pick me up. He stood me back down on my feet and kept his hand on my elbows, me facing him, so I wouldn't lose balance.

Hospital... Scars…Charlie…Edward…

"N-n-no h-h-ospit-t-al, I'm fine, honestly," I stuttered and stepped back from his arms and turned around to walk but due to the fall I became dizzy quickly and felt myself starting to fall quickly. I waited for the concrete to make contact with my face but strong arms caught me before this happened. At that move, I winced in pain as Edward gripped my scared arms.

"Bella, you ok?" He asked as he tried to pull me upright but the pain was too much and I blacked out. But before this I felt myself slipping to the ground and as I slipped through Edwards hands, it moved my top up, revealing some of the scars on my wrist.

Then everything went black.

**A/N****: So what do you guys think? I like it and I have already started writing Chapter 2…so those who review with their own account me will send you a sneak-peak. So c'mon get reviewing. Oh and BTW...i tried to read my BETAs stories – robbsweetangel – but then I only got about two chapters in...And then I found other things...but im just saying, she's really talented and I absolutely loved the chapters I DID read, so give it a shot ;]**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N****: Hi munchkins, so here is the other chapter I practically promised you...so yeah. Oh and remember this is kinda dark you could say...I guess…yeah…  
****Disclaimer: ****I don't own Twilight or anything to do with it...I just own Scars...and the scars…  
****Song of inspiration:**** Blindness – Metric****  
**Chapter 2 – Where it went wrong and where it was fixed

When Bella blacked out I didn't know what to do. She looked so fragile and small and _dead_ in my arms. When she slid down and her top's sleeved rode up a little my eyes became blurry because my tears weren't letting me see clearly. I loved her, even if she didn't know it. I really did love her, and she was trying to take herself away from my world. She was my world. How could she be so selfish and destroy my world?

Some of the scars looked new, some looked older, and some looked like they were there for years. Maybe it had been years…I hadn't noticed…

I crouched down to pick her up. I had to take her to see someone. The hospital was bad because they would send her to therapy… that will only make it worse…

There seemed to be only one option left that I would know she'd be in good care, I could stay with her and she wouldn't have to step foot in the hospital.

I quickly wiped my eyes of the tears and held Bella up again, then before walking around the car and placing her in the car seat, I kissed her again. A soft peck of a kiss that meant the world to me.

I buckled her in and ran to my side of my Volvo, then started driving even before my doors were closed.

If I had watched where I was going she wouldn't be like this right now. I would just be home, away from the school and the dicks; Tyler and Mike. She would still be conscious…she wouldn't have those cuts on her wrists and fingers if I just noticed her. If I just grew some fucking balls and told her I liked her. Though the truth is, I don't like her. I love her. I fucking love this girl and she goes off trying killing herself.

I kept thinking and thinking and thinking while I drove to the house where he would be able to help her. He was the only one who would and that would also listen to me when I said no one can know about this.

I turned the car onto the invisible road that I drive down every single day.

Carlisle is the only one who will understand this, so will Esme. Esme is the reason _why _Carlisle will understand this. Sometimes I wish I didn't know so much about my family, because honestly it scares me even.

But some things are good to know. Like this for instance.

Stopping the car I took a deep breath and looked around. Releasing my held breath I looked down at Bella's limp body as a tear escaped my eye. I unclasped my seat belt and moved to unclasp Bella's, then placed a kiss on her forehead.

I stared at Bella as she lay in my bed; asleep she looked at ease. She had a bruise on her leg in the shape of my license plate on her leg and it took all my control not to lean down and kiss it better for her.

Esme changed her clothes for her so she didn't have to sleep in the dirty ones. She lay in a plain white tank top, her skin as white as the top, with a pair of my shorts that I wore when I was about 10. She looked sexy as hell uncovered as covered up in all her dark clothes.

Since we became friends in Forks High School I knew we would always be there for each other. Then two years ago everything went…_dark_. She changed her clothes, she changed her friends, and she changed her attitude towards everything. Her smooth colored clothes turned to blacks, reds, purples and dark blues…but I didn't care. I loved her still the same if not more since the day I met her.

She used to be best friends with Jessica, Lauren, Mike and Tyler…but then one day something changed in her. Since then she became best friends with Alice, Jasper and Rosalie and even Emmett, my douche of a brother. We were a troubled group… Alice, my sister, with some kind of physic powers, Jasper, Alice's boyfriend and my best friend, could feel what everyone was feeling…he just had to look at their eyes and it was in him. Rosalie with her self-loathing - was raped three years ago when she was only fifteen by Royce King, Forks High football's superstar. He's now in that teenage jail… Emmett was just troubled, and I could guess thoughts, I could read people like a book. But never Bella; she was always a closed book to me.

I sighed and lay on the bed beside her, taking one of her fragile hands in mine and bringing it up to my lips to kiss. I didn't give back her fragile hand; I kept it close to my heart as I rolled over on my side. I watched as she slept, her eyes rolling underneath her lids, her face content…

She rolled onto her side facing me, and moved closer.

I stared at her face then moved my lips to her forehead and pressed a lingering kiss there. When I pulled away her eyes fluttered open while her face remained emotionless.

"You're awake," I whispered, my breath washing over her face.

"Yeah…where am I?" Bella asked frowning.

"My house…Carlisle looked you over with the machinery we have at home in the basement, you're fine, just blacked out because you seem to be getting the flu…except for that and a huge bruise on your leg, you are fine…" I replied.

"Charlie…and," she swallowed, "Renee?" Renee? Who's Renee?

"Renee? You're mother?" I asked. She nodded. I've never met her mother, only Chief Swan…though I haven't been to her house for the last two years.

"No, Carlisle didn't call Chief Swan or your mother…Esme said it be better if we don't tell them…" I said. She whispered 'thank you' and closed her eyes, then moved herself close to me as our legs, arms and noses touched.

I closed my eyes too in hopes to falling asleep, but the sleep didn't come. Bella was awake too.

"What time is it?" she whispered after some time. I rolled out of our embrace and took my phone out from my jean pocket and looked at the time. 22:34.

"It's half past ten…" I said as I rolled back. Bella took my by surprise by wrapping her arm around my torso and leaving me to wrap both of my arms around Bella. She fit perfectly against me, just like I thought she would.

"I have to go home don't I?" she whispered, nuzzling her face in the crook of my neck.

"No…Esme told Chief Swan you're sleeping over because Alice asked…you're mother was shouting in the back round though, she said. Renee didn't want you there but Charlie said it was fine and just hung up the phone. So Esme, said you're to sleep in here and I'll sleep on the couch tonight, then she wants to have a talk with you…about the…erm…scars…," I whispered to her. She nodded and her lips made contact with my skin as I tried not to moan at the contact.

"Do I have to talk about the scars to Esme?" she asked some time later.

"Yeah, but you don't have to think about it right now." She nodded and sighed as she slid her other hand around my neck and moved the one from my torso to clasp me into her hold. I wrapped my arms around her torso and held her close to me.

We lay like that for a couple of hours, just enjoying each other's embrace, until there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I called. The door opened and Esme walked inside with a towel and underwear for Bella.

"Hey Honey, how are you feeling?" She asked. Bella didn't let go of my neck, just tightened her hold on me.

"I'm good Esme," she murmured into my neck. I looked at Esme and she was in awe to the sight. Then Esme looked at me and she gave me a knowing smile, meaning it was ok for us to sleep in the same bed, just no funny business. I nodded and mouthed 'thank you' to her.

"Bella, I brought you some under garments from Alice that was too big for her. They're completely new, clean and everything. Also a towel so maybe you would like to have a shower. Tomorrow you don't have to go to school because I need to talk to you about some things, ok?" Esme said as she set the things in her hands in the corner of my bed.

"Thank you Esme," Bella said and finally turned her head to look at her and smiled.

"No problem dear, now make sure you two are asleep soon, even though you're not going to school doesn't mean Edward isn't. Also I can see that things look comfortable at the moment but don't get too carried away please, I still can't forget what happened when Emmett was ill…Rosalie certainly did help…in some way…" Esme laughed nervously. I grimaced at the memory; the moans and groans coming from Emmett's room will never be forgotten when he had a high temperature. Rosalie has weird methods of help…but he became better so what the hell.

"Don't worry Esme, Edward and I are just friends…" Bella said finally removing her hands from around my neck and pushing herself up in a sitting position and looking at Esme.

"Just really good friends," she said and looked down at me with a smile. I smiled back at her my half smile and sat up myself.

"Well OK dear," Esme smiled and walked out.

I loved Esme like my own mother, she and Carlisle gave me the best family in the world. I mean all of us; Emmett, Alice and myself were adopted but we were all brothers and sisters even if we weren't related by blood.

I looked up at Bella to find her chocolate brown eyes boring into my green ones.

"Why did you kiss me Edward?" she asked. She didn't sound angry or repulsed…just interested and shocked.

I stared at her. What am I going to tell her? Tell her I've been in love with her for the last six years and that I dreamed of kissing her so I just went ahead and done it?

Well I couldn't very well tell her I was just trying to get air into her lungs because that would be a lie. We kissed. It was our first kiss and we both were making it happen. Both of our mouths were moving in sync.

I took a deep breath and held it as I looked at Bella. Closing my eyes I released my breath.

Then I started to tell her the only thing I could; the truth.

**A/N****: So how do you like it? I personally think this is my best work so far… So come on review me munchkins…they give me something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning and come back from school… Also. I haven't **_**yet**_** started writing Chapter 3 but I will do it soon, so those who review with their account will get a teaser...! So love you all so just c'mon and press that button right under this message!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N****: Heyo readers! Missed me? I didn't…im a horrible fucked up mess outside of these pages…schools and laws are so fuckered up…my headaches are like killing me…and the school doesn't give a flying fuck…but then someone sees a scab on your wrist that is measly a scratch – even though I wasn't really intending for it to be a scratch – they send you to fucking therapy! Bleh…I wanna die…yup, yup I do. NO one can stop me…well maybe but I really hope they don't… Well anyway here is the promised Chapter 3! And im so proud of myself for keeping on writing!  
****Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it…but I do own Scars…and the scars…  
****Song of inspiration****: Bruno Mars – Again**

Chapter 3 – Truth be told

When I opened my eyes they were met by two emerald green ones; my favorite eyes in the universe. Edward stared at me as he held one of my small fragile, scarred hands next to his heart in both of his. I was in his room, in his bed, with him. It had been hours since the car accident, he looked so worried.

I was to stay the night, just so Carlisle could know if I'd be okay. Esme walked in not long ago and gave me some underwear and a towel. Edward was holding me while she was there and allowed us to be sleep in the same bed as long as there was no funny business…like there would be anything more between Edward and I. Even if I wanted something to happen…

Then I remembered something that gave me butterflies; Edward kissed me. He _really _kissed me, and he wasn't trying to push air into my lungs like he thought I needed. I really doubt while pushing air into lungs through Mouth to Mouth you are to stick your tongue in their mouth. I mean I didn't mind it or nothing but he owed me an explanation.

That is exactly what I asked.

"Why did you kiss me Edward?" I asked. I was just curious. Edward just stared at me. Then he took a deep breath as he looked at me. Closing his eyes he released his breath. Then he began to talk.

"You remember when you first moved here to Forks? And you and Alice instantly became friends and you came round? Well the day you tripped over _my_ backpack and fell into my arms was the day I started seeing you more than my sister's best friend. I watched you everyday and hoped that you would maybe one day show some interest in me…but you never did. We were friends, we were always friends, even when you ditched the gang to be with Jessica, Lauren and others.

Then you went all dark again and suited the gang so much better again…I don't know what happened but I still liked you then. For the last two years I have been trying very hard... I was the one who punched Mike when he tried to feel you up at Lauren's party.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I kissed you I wasn't thinking and the moment was _just there_ and I took it. I'm sorry Bella," he said, looking down to his lap. How could he be apologizing? I stared at him for a minute or two but then I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding myself close to him. His arms, as in on instinct, circled around my torso and pulled me closer to his perfectly sculpted body.

"Don't apologize, I wouldn't of kissed you back if I didn't want to," I whispered in his ear. I pulled back a little so I could look at him. I stared at his green eyes, searching them for nothing.

Then I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. It was just a peck, but then he showered my lips with soft, short kisses. I loved how his lips felt on mine and those soft short touches were not enough so I captured his lips with mine not breaking any contact. I moved my lips up millimeters, so I could take his top lip in between my own. Our lips started moving in sync and our breathing became uncontrolled, and my hands grasped his hair, pulling his face closer to mine.

Edward's hands were digging into my waist and I found myself lying down horizontally on the bed, with Edward hovering over me, our lips still connected. I felt the tip of his tongue traced my lower lip asking for entrance which I granted without a second thought. His tongue slipped into my mouth and made contact with mine; the electricity flowing through my body hit a nerve down south and I couldn't suppress a moan.

Edward moved his body closer to mine, so he was laying on me while his weight was all on his arms. His hands were moving closer to my chest and that made me gasp, because his hands were practically pulling the shit I was wearing, up a little.

He rolled us over so I was on top of him now and pressed my body closer to his, wrapping his arms around my torso tightly. Our lips never broke apart and my hands made home in his messy bronze sex hair. I lightly tugged at it as Edward groaned. I felt something hard against my thigh that caught my attention but I ignored it as Edward's hands moved to my lower back and that got me distracted. When I needed more air I had to move our lips apart, though he wasn't planning on breaking any skin contact or so it seemed. His lips slowly moved to my jaw then to my throat and my neck, leaving me panting and moaning with his soft, open mouth kisses. The something hard against my thigh became bigger and it just then hit me that that was his pants. I chuckled at that but couldn't stop laughing and after a couple of chuckles I was gasping for air through the laughing as I rolled off of Edward.

Edward opened his eyes and looked at me as he propped himself on his elbow, still breathing hard, his eyes confused, which made me laugh that much harder.

"You…the…the…pants…" then uncontrollable laughing; that is all that came out. Edward raised an eye brow at me and looked down at the tent below his stomach, when he saw what I was laughing about, his cheeks became a sweet rosy pink color.

My laughing calmed down a little and I reached out my hand and placed it on his cheek which was becoming warmer underneath my palm.

"Is this the reaction I cause you to have?" I asked looking Edward in his eyes. His jewel like emerald eyes were telling me something but I just couldn't figure out _what._

"Yeah, thank god I have enough control…erm…in my pants while kissing you," he blushed and smiled. I was beaming now as my eyes traveled down his body down to his black jeans to his tent that was cause apparently by me.

Then I frowned and let my hand slide down his face and down his chest to the bed.

He doesn't want me, he was lying, and he must be thinking of Jessica or something, our hair is kind of the same… That reaction was for her. He was imagining kissing _her_ not _me_. Why would Edward Cullen, the sexiest man alive want _me, Bella Swan?_ I'm the dead person, the ugly one…the one no one wants and everyone leaves… He hit me with his car so now I'm a charity case…

"I'm gonna…erm…go have a shower," I said as I slid off the bed trying not to look at Edward. I could see him nod somewhere from the side of my eye as one of his hands went through his tousled hair.

"Would you like a t-shirt to sleep in?" He asked as he stood up, taking the towel and underwear from the bottom of the bed and gave them to me.

Edward's shirt to sleep in?

"Yeah, that would be nice, thank you." Edward smiled at me and I gave him a weak smile as he took a shirt from his wardrobe and gave it to me, and just having it near me I could smell him on it.

I turned around and walked towards the bathroom but turned around quickly before I forgot.

"Do you have a spare toothbrush? I feel like my teeth are sand paper," I asked. Edward quickly walked towards one of his drawers and took out a new toothbrush and handed it to me.

"Here, you can leave it there," he smiled and kissed my temple and walked back towards his wardrobe.

I sighed and turned around walking into the bathroom then closed the door behind me, not bothering to lock it. I looked around the bathroom and was amazed by the size of it. It was huge; white and black and had everything in it. Porcelain like toilet, a bathtub, a shower, sink, mirror…everything I needed, maybe even too much.

I placed the things in my arms and placed them on the toilet seat as I set my new toothbrush in the little cup where Edward's was.

I quickly undressed myself of the shorts and tank top that supposedly Esme had dressed me in. Then the bra I was wearing that I didn't recognize and panties. They were a fiery orange color and I put them in the laundry basket, not scared that Edward will find them since the Cullen's had house keeping.

I walked to the shower and turned it on letting the warm water soothe me.

Then the tears took over. I was laughing ten minutes ago and now I was sobbing for something that was obviously my fault. Edward was obviously feeling sorry for me so he kissed me. Jessica always liked him and she said he liked her… We haven't really talked for two years but it was obvious both of them were into each other.

When I used to sit with Jessica at lunch, I used to catch him staring at her, she was sitting right next to me and he was always looking that way.

Why did I even think that he may like me the way I liked him?

Everyone hates me; my mother because Charlie and Phil left her and Charlie left me…Phil did too… When Renee pushed me down the stairs she told me everything was my fault. It was obviously all my fault…I shouldn't even have been born…

As I washed my body my eyes were fixed on one thing; the razor that was on the shampoo shelf. It was staring at me and asking me to pick it up. And the scars on my wrists were _burning_ me to open them up…all of them.

I washed my hair and just stood under the flow of the water. Then I reached out and took the razor, leaning against the wall and sliding down to sit at the bottom, still under the flow.

I held the razor in my left hand and held my right arm out in front of me, the scars screaming at me.

I breathed in and moved my arms, the familiar sting making me smile as I breathed out the air in my lungs in a quick breath. The tears still fell down my face, though I couldn't tell the tears apart from the water. I wasn't sobbing any more, no I was smiling, I was in my happy place where the only person who can hurt me was me and the only person who could stop me is no one. Renee pushing me down the stairs would do nothing to me now, her cutting my back would be nothing now. Her slamming the door on my fingers would be nothing now; all because this sensation I could bring myself will take all other pain away.

I moved my arms over and over and over again and then started laughing.

The blood was running down like a river, fast and free. Exactly how it should be.

Then the shower door opened and Edward was standing there with the towel in his hands, eyes worried, and tears in his eyes. My knees were up to my chest and I was staring at him. The razor still in one of my hands, the cuts open and flowing lighter under the water.

Edward shook his head no and his face became angry when he suddenly slammed the water off just above my head leaned down with the towel towards me. I looked at him, everything numb… Then I smiled and quickly lifted my arms again and moved them as fast as I could before he made me stop. I had barely gotten a couple of scratches but it was enough because the blood was flowing freely.

"Bella, no…shit…no, fuck, why, why, why?" he whispered his eyes looking at me. He looked so sad and worried. I never knew he was such a good actor. Tears started running down his face, still shocked, upset and angry.

"Because you keep on lying to me, everyone keeps on lying to me," I whispered as my voice broke between some words. Edward closed his eyes and opened them again then moved forward and wrapped the big towel around me and picking up my limp body standing me up.

"Bella, why the fuck did you do this again?" He asked and he looked angered.

"Because you said you liked me, but you like Jessica and we have the same hair so while you was kissing me you were thinking of Jessica and that hurt…" I whispered. He instantly started shaking his head no.

"Is she ok?" Alice's worried voice came from somewhere behind Edward and he turned his head to look at her, giving me access to see her.

"I saw you thinking of doing this again…so I told Edward…" she said giving me a sad smile. I shrugged and stepped out of the shower with Edward's arms still around me as he held the towel to my body. The blood was leaving pools of blood at our feet and I knew this was going to leave stains.

"I'm sorry for the stains and stuff, I'll clean them up, I promise…" I said looking at Edward quickly. He shook his head in disappointment then placed his forehead on my shoulder.

"What are we gong to do with you?" He murmured then kissed my shoulder lightly.

"Let me die the death that I will die one day anyway…" I said as a matter of fact. Alice sighed and shook her head no, setting her face a perfect poker face.

"Stop talking shit Bella, you're not going to die, at least not if I have anything to do with it," Alice said steadily but I knew she was breaking. I stared at her and she stared right back at me, her expression not changing.

"I'm sorry Alice, and you too Edward…could you guys leave me alone so I could change? I promise not to shed more blood on purpose…" I said. Alice sighed and nodded walking out to Edward's bedroom. I turned my head to look at Edward whose head was still on my shoulder.

"I don't wanna leave you right now, I need you to understand that what you thought was going on was just your imagination…" he said.

"You still have to let me get changed and brush my teeth." Edward nodded and let go and walked to his bedroom, closing the door, but not before he kissed my cheek. The gesture was such an easy movement it scared me even.

I sighed and wrapped the towel securely around me, looking at my fragile image in the mirror. I stood there for five seconds just taking in the scene; the pale face with red eyes, the weak body frame and the red arms. I smiled because that was what my mother made me. Maybe this time it wasn't her doing but the times before are too much to bear to think that she would have changed. Charlie knows what she did and yet he still took her back, he believed the lie she cried saying she was better and she was sorry for everything she had done. I bet she's still fucking someone on the side again.

I quickly tried to forget everything and turned the cold tap in the sink, washing off all the blood, leaving just the open wounds to burn me. I dried myself and put Edward's shirt on after the underwear then brushed my teeth, still not looking in the mirror. I dried my hair a bit so it was damp and brushed it, setting it the way I normally like it; my fringe over an eyes then the rest of my hair falling in soft bangs around my face.

I put the bloody towel in the laundry basket and sighed as I walked to exit the bathroom.

I had to brace myself for this. I don't understand why do they even bother to try and care about me?

I opened the door and quickly turned around to close it so my back was to anyone inside the room. When I actually turned around it was only Edward in the room, Alice must have gone back to her room. Edward sat at the foot of his bed with his head in his hands, lightly shaking from crying I presume. I walked towards him and sat down by his feet Indian style and put my small hands around his wrists, trying to pry them away from his face but they kept glued there.

"Edward, calm down, I'm fine, really," I said and tried pulling again but he still wouldn't budge.

"How can I calm down Bella? If I just talked to you earlier…maybe…maybe you could've talked…I could have helped you maybe…" he whispered, his voice breaking. I stood up and crawled onto the bed then pulled Edward back so he was lying on the bed, his hands still on his face. I kneeled over him and pulled him a little until he moved himself so he was laying on his back on the bed normally, his hands finally slid down to his chest, limp. His eyes closed but his face held a pained expression and that hurt me.

Why did I like him so much? It's not like he likes me…

"We can talk in the morning…c'mon Edward we need to sleep," I whispered and placed a kiss on his check. He sighed and nodded when his eye lids drew up and his piercing green eyes were looking up at me. I smiled a weak, sad smiled and padded his shoulder to get up and get under the covers.

He quickly left to have a shower and came back with a towel around his waist, water running down his torso. I jumped when he dropped the towel and was a little disappointed because his boxers were already on.

He moved to put on a shirt and trousers to sleep in but when he came back to bed after turning the light off I took his shirt off for him. I wasn't gonna have him wearing a shirt while I could feel all of him against me.

I lay beside him, on my side and our eyes held each other's. I slid my arm around Edward's waist and pulled myself closer to him as Edward's arms wound around me holding me as close to him as possible. Edward buried his face in my hair and kissed it trying to control his breathing so he could sleep.

I sighed and closed me eyes, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck and kissed his bare skin as I evened out my breaking.

Soon after I fell asleep in Edward's arms, content with silence. That was the only night in two whole years that I slept in peace. No nightmares, no dreams…just plain blackness.

**A/N****: This took me DAYS to write but I done it…all 6 pages of this…it's big for me so don't laugh at my cheering. I love you my readers and I also love my BETA who always BETAs my chapters! So come on and press that button at the bottom now and leave me a review and like I always say, if I can reply to it I send you a teaser of Chapter 4 when I start it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N****: Can you believe it im still alive? So my updating is going a bit slow again…ok slow is an understatement…but just know that I haven't given up on Scars…yet… I went camping over the weekend…it was ok but not awesome…the only awesome thing was the horses that ate nuts outta my hand…it was so friken awesome…then the two gay guys that were there… Momma knew them, well we came with them meaning… John Luca and Frank…they are so awesome as well ! Italian too…and Frank really boosted ma ego when he told me I had talent…singing and playing guitar…so that was nice.  
Another thing awesome was that I got ideas for this chapter ! Well maybe not for this chapter specifically…but for chapters to come…ALSO…my sister kinda confiscated my PC and im only allowed to really use it an hour a day…but that's for the internet…the writing I can still do…so the chapter will probably be long…yay me…  
So c'mon get reading !  
****Disclaimer****: ****I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it…but I do own Scars…and the scars…  
****Song Of Inspiration****: Band of Horses – The Funeral**

Chapter 4 – Don't leave me

The morning sun that was streaming through my window was burning my back, just like the moonlight was sending shivers down it the night before. When I realized I was awake my sences came back one by one. I felt myself breathing again, then I started hearing the silence again...after, I felt someone against me. A warm feminine body pressing against my chest as my arms were wrapped around the fragile frame. It was bigger than Alice's so it wasn't her being affraid of a bad dream or a frightning vision as such, so it must have been...

"Morning," she whispered against my neck, her warm breath sending tickles down my spine.

"Morning," I whispered back. My eyes opened to find Bella nuzzling my neck, her hair just under my nose.

The moment her arms tightened around my torso and the dried up wounds scratched my back; everything came flooding back to me like a brick just fell, the pain fast and lasting.

My car hitting her with me behind the wheel…Bella collapsing in front of my eyes…Carlisle looking over her; checking to see if she'll survive…her falling asleep in my bed…me kissing her soft lips…Bella crying…Alice running into my room; telling me she saw Bella reaching for the razor again…Bella's wounds open again…Bella telling me she's ok while she clearly wasn't… wrapping her fragile arms which we're bloody minutes ago, around my torso, trying to comfort _me_…

I tightened my arms around her, rolling myself onto my back to have Bella half on top of me, her small frame fitting with my larger one.

"Are you ok?" she asked me. She asked me when _sh_e was the one who though I was thinking of _Jessica_ while kissing her.

Jessica was just some low class slut that tried to flirt with me too many times. Bella was the one who I was thinking of; always…

I sighed and closed my eyes just trying to live in the moment. I kissed the top of Bella's head and breathed in her scent, even though she washed with my shower gel, she still smelled like her strawberry self.

Then I suddenly became angry. I became angry at Bella, at myself, at the world and whoever made her this way was going to be dead five minutes after I find out. It all just wound me up like a lightning flash. I moved myself away from Bella and hauled myself out of bed, throwing back the covers harshly.

"No I'm not okay Bella, how could I be fucking ok?" I said angrily. I ran my hands over my face and into my hair as I paced at the foot of my bed.

"What's wrong?" she asked sitting up. I woke up less than five minutes ago, content with everything, or at least as much as there was to be content about, and now I was pacing around my room pissed off at the universe.

"What's wrong is yesterday. I hit you with my car then a couple of hours later I kiss you. Bella you're my best friend…and then you think that I was lying to you, thinking I was thinking of Jessica when I was kissing you…Bella…I don't know what to fucking say or do…I just…" I couldn't finish that. My mouth was opening and closing but no words were coming out. I guess she already knew what I was trying to say because her face became awake and her lips set in a straight line. Just like she was in thought…

"I'm sorry Edward, it's just that…" then she was the one gasping. Her eyes became watery and red and a silent tear slipped down her cheek. I moved myself quickly to sit back down on the bed next to Bella, reaching my hand out to her quickly to wipe away those tears. She closed her eyes and breathed out a heavy breath that with a rushed push would have been a sob.

"Don't cry Bella, there's no need to cry," I whispered to her, my thumb stroking under her eye; those heartbreaking tears started to fall faster.

"But you're so angry…and im sorry about yesterday, that kiss…shouldn't really have happened…" she whispered, finally shaking as the sobs rose within her. "Even if I longed for it for years…" she murmured, merely a whisper, I don't think I was supposed to hear that.

"Hey, not exactly your fault…you know it takes two people to kiss like that…" I chuckled lightly trying to lighten the mood.

"Then why did you become angry if it wasn't about me breaking our friendship?" she asked, her eye brows pulling together. I moved my hand down to her jaw, down her neck, over her throat, across her shoulder and down her arm, where it lingered after her elbow. My thumb grazed over her dried up wounds, showing her instead of telling her why I became angry.

"Why Bella, why would you do this?" I asked, looking into her eyes, trying to search them for the hint that she was about to lie. It never showed…

"I can't exactly explain right now…it's hard to think about…" she whispered. I sighed and slid my hand closer to me so I held her hand in mine. She moved her head and looked at my bedside table clock where the bright red numbers showed 07:42, then turned back to me.

"You have to get to school," she whispered. I nodded but hung my head, not moving a centimeter away from where I was.

"So you kissed me because you wanted to kiss me?" she asked. I lifted my head and smiled my crooked smile at her. Her eyes were red rimmed but she wasn't crying anymore, the corner of her lip lifted slightly.

"Can I kiss you again?" I blurted out before I could process what I was saying. Bella's fingers tightened around mine and her eyes widened as her face broke out into a wide smile. She nodded and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling my face inches away from hers. Then I leaned in and kissed her, just like I wished I could do without asking her. I wished I could kiss her anywhere, any place as long as she wouldn't mind…

Her lips tasted a little salty from the couple tears that escaped her eyes and rolled around her lips, as they moved in sync against mine. Bella's hands intertwined themselves in my hair, pulling me closer to her, my hands moving to pull her onto my lap then wrapping my arms around her torso.

A groan escaped me when she pulled a little harder. She moved the tip of her tongue along my lower lip asking for entrance which I granted without a second thought. Her tongue slipped into my mouth, colliding with mine.

Then someone knocked on my door.

"Ignore it," Bella whispered against my lips and pushed me to lie down on my bed, hovering over me. Her nails scratched my scalp, pulling harder on my hair, once again making me groan.

Two knocks sounded through the room again.

"Bella we have to…" I whispered to her, trying to hold her away, as much as it hurt me to do it. Bella pulled back and rejection rushed through her face again, just like last night.

"I really do wanna carry on kissing you but whoever is outside will open the door somehow…" I whispered, trying to make her understand that I do want her. Her eyes didn't believe me, so I kissed her lips again, a short sweet kiss that still left me breathless.

"Fine," she sighed and pulled back. I stood up and made my way towards my door while Bella slid back under the covers. I reached for the door lock and turned it, then opened the door to a pissed off Emmett.

"What the fuck bro? I thought you said you aren't gonna jerk off anymore without telling me so I could cover my ears…" He said a frown on his face. I sighed and shook my head, stepping outside my room quietly closing the door behind me. I guess no one told Emmett about Bella being here.

"I wasn't jerking off," I chuckled, my hand behind me still on the door knob.

"Then what's with the groans?" he asked. I pursed my lips wondering if I should tell him or not…

If I told Emmett it could only go two ways. He would start laughing telling me I was crazy, then going into my room seeing Bella in my bed then probably punching my face; he's crazy protective of her, just like Rosalie and Alice. Or, he could start harassing me how Bella made me groan; and that wasn't fake. Both options we're not ones that I wished to happen. But lying to him would just end up with me getting a pissed off brother on my back for weeks.

So I explained everything to him. He seemed to understand…

"So Bella is in your bed right now, waiting for you to come back and make out with her?" he asked, as I shrugged.

"I'll get ma' to let you stay home," he smiled and slapped me on my back.

"Thanks," I whispered and turned back to my room. When I opened the door Bella was still in my bed, just she seemed to be asleep now, hugging my pillow close to her chest. I smiled and walked into my bathroom to have a shower and brush my teeth.

I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, staring at myself. I wrapped my towel around me waist even though I already have my boxers on. I closed my eyes and leaned against my sink, breathing in and out. I stayed like that for a couple of minutes, while someone came into the bathroom and closed the door.

Bella's small hands wrapped around my wrists, prying them away from the sink, pulling me to face her.

"Esme said you get to stay home with me, Emmett asked her…" she said. I opened my eyes to look into Bella's brown pools of chocolate.

"Yeah, erm…I had to tell Emmett, sorry…" I whispered. She nodded and put her hands on my chest, which was still damp.

"You're not naked are you?" she asked, looking up, but obviously fighting the urge to look down. I chuckled at her question and removed the towel, much to her amazement.

"Not with you in the next room, no, why does it bother you?" I smiled looking at her. The rosy blush rose to her cheeks as she shook her head no. I chuckled again and leaned down to kiss her warm cheek. Bella leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my body, resting her cheek against my chest, so I wrapped my arms around her and rested my cheek on her hair.

"Are you lying about caring about me?" she whispered. I sighed and kissed the top of her head.

I let go of Bella's body and moved my hands to remove her arms from around my torso, then lifted them up and wrapped them around me neck, moving my hands down to her waist, pressing her against me. I leaned my head down and looked into her eyes.

I leaned closer and lightly brushed my lips against hers.

"No."

"Am I really your best friend?" she smiled against my lips.

"Yeah, you are. You're the only one who really understands me…" I said, pulling back looking at Bella. Then it was her turn to kiss me, pulling my face down to hers. She moved her lips against mine as I moved them willingly. As our lips moved our breathing became uneven and Bella's hands moved around my hair as mine moved up and down her back, coming close to her private behind.

We kissed for a while, somehow ending up in bed again, me on my back and Bella hovering over me again. Her smooth while legs on ether side of my hips, which I still only had the thin material of my boxers covering. I couldn't help that Bella turned me on; my erection straining against my boxers was sure enough touching her inner thigh which nearly made me come right there and then. So the groans and moans escaping me weren't exactly just my fault; her thighs took part as well.

Things seemed to be getting a little too heated and I knew I had to stop this. As much as it hurt me to do it I pulled away, though not ever removing my lips from her soft skin.

"Bella, we have to stop…" I whispered, trailing kisses down her jaw. She moaned as I lightly licked her skin with the kisses.

"Esme will wanna talk to you soon…" I whispered. She sighed and nodded kissing me softly on the lips.

She rolled off of me and lay on her back next to me, trying to catch her breath.

We lay there quietly, trying to catch our breath, our hands intertwined. We decided to get dressed, so I let Bella wear another one of my shirts; she said she liked them because they hung loose around her body, but I catch her smelling it from time to time.

I walked over to the DVD stack by my TV and looked over the film names.

"What would you like to watch?" I asked Bella, turning around. She stood up from my bed and walked towards me, looking at the stack of DVDs beside me. She looked over at the stacks of the romantic comedies underneath the sci-fi movies which were – obviously – set by name. Bella stretched her hand and with her index finger she scrolled down the DVD, quickly murmuring the names of the films under her breath.

"How about _He's just __**not**__ that into you_?" she asked, pulling it out from underneath _Valentine's Day_. I nodded ok and took the DVD from her, turning to put it into the DVD player. Bella walked back over to the bed and sat against the headboard where the stacks of pillows were. She smiled at me and patted my side of the bed to come sit next to her, and I did after I took the remote. I sat down and sighed as I went trough the necessary options then pressed play.

"When does Esme need to talk to me?" Bella asked after a while. I took one of her hands that lay limp in her lap and held it in by two bigger ones. I lifted it up to my lips and kissed it then put our two intertwined hands between us.

"Not now, when you feel like it…but you won't be able to get out of it, sorry," I smiled a half smile. She sighed and nodded her head then leaned her head on my shoulder, using it as a pillow.

We stayed like that throughout the movie, well at least half way through it, I don't know when but we fell asleep half way through it. When I woke up it seemed to be midday, and I lay in my bed with Bella's body away from mine. Her small frame was curled up in a ball at the end of the bed, with one of my pillows between her arms held hostage. Her face was towards me and she looked pained, or maybe she was having a nightmare. I wanted to wake her up but I knew she didn't get much sleep before anyway, judging from the circles under her eyes she looked like she hadn't slept for two years; so I ought to let her sleep.

I turned the TV off and turned and moved Bella closer to the middle of the bed, wrapping my arms around her body, the pillow like a wall between us. I closed my eyes and breathed out a heavy breath, then kissed the top of Bella's head. I knew I wouldn't fall asleep again, since I slept longer than I should have through out night time and day time.

A knock made me stop day dreaming and when the door opened and the foot steps sounded through my room my eyes shot open.

Esme walked toward my bed, looking over at Bella and I wrapped in each other once again.

"Mom?" I whispered. Her eyes looked over to me and a warm smile appeared on my face, from the concerned expression before.

"Would it be ok to talk to her now?" she whispered to me, sitting down at the corner of the bed. I looked at her then back at Bella and decided it be better she talk to her now rather than later. I moved back a little and moved to whisper to Bella, kissing her ear.

"Bella, time to wake up love," I whispered which made her stir a little in my arms. Her eyes opened and looked straight at mine, then a smile appeared on her face. Then Esme moved her hand and put it on Bella's back, stroking her gently as Bella's face became confused. I tried to smile at her a half hearted smile which became a sad one.

"Bella dear, would it be ok to talk now?" Esme asked.

**A/N****: So here it is; the long – long is an understatement I know – awaited chapter which is like…erm…like 6 pages long again…yay me ! …So anyway...The good thing is im allowed to write...Though im still kinda forbidden with the internet... but I still say screw it…so…yeah...go ahead and review it...i really like reviews...no...i love them...so...yeah **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N****: Hello munchkins! So I decided to write this chapter while still in England…I thought I could still write this chapter since I basically understand what im to write… So here it is… Don't forget to read and review!  
****Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it…but I do own Scars…and the scars…  
****Song Of Inspiration****:**

Chapter 5 – It's not a love story

"Bella, time to wake up love," Edward said through my hazy state. I stirred a little then opened my eyes to see Edward starring at me, his arms tight around me. I smiled at him, but before he could smile his crooked smile at me, a warm feminine hand touched my back. I was confused now, until Edward's lips curved into a sad smile, his eyes sincere.

"Bella dear, would it be ok to talk now?" Esme asked. I stared at Edward, but I knew he wouldn't be able to help me. If I didn't wanna talk to a shrink I needed to talk to Esme. The person who was a mother to me when the person who was supposed to be my mother was killing me. I've known her for about four years.

I remember the first day I met her. It was when Alice invited me to her thirteenth birthday party sleepover.

*Start of flashback*

_I walked down the corridor, holding my books tightly in between my crossed arms, towards my locker where a pixie, whom I've grown to love in little time, was jumping up and down._

_"Bella! Bella! Bella! Bella!" she sang happily. __I raised an eyebrow and my lips twiched as to smile._

_"Hey Alice, what's up?" I smiled at her, my lips glued together to not start laughing at her cheeriness._

"The ceiling is up, Bella, and so is the gorgeous blue sky. Though the most important thing that is up are the stars in the night sky, which you are going to be looking at on Friday night," she squealed. I stared at her quizzing, my eyebrow rising once more.

"It's my birthday party on Friday," she exclaimed.

"But I thought it was your birthday in two _weeks?" I asked, as I opened my locker and put the books I was holding inside it, then took out the things I needed for Biology._

"Well yeah, but I'll explain it at the party. So you are to come to my house after school on Friday," she said, after I closed my locker. She handed me an invite and clapped her hands like a seal which just made me laugh. I love Alice to bits; even though we've known each other for less than a month I knew we were going to be friends for a long time.

"Sure Alice, I'll be there," I smiled, as we walked to class.

***

"I'll be fine Daddy, its only girls. Well Alice's brothers are_ going to be there, but Alice promised Edward and Emmett are going to be in their rooms playing video games or somewhat," I smiled at Charlie. We were in his Police Car in front of the Cullen house._

"Fine, but ask Esme to call me if anything happens, ok?" Charlie said. I nodded and kissed his cheek, then took my stuff and got out. I walked over to the door and rang the doorbell and waited as the ding-dong of the bell sounded through the Cullen house. To me it was like a mansion. It had six bedrooms – all with their own bathrooms – and that wasn't including the living room. Then the kitchen was huge with a dining room, even though they hardly ever ate anything at the table; well they did, but it was only for special occasions.

I waited and moved my hand to press the bell again, but the door swung open, and Dr. Cullen smiled down at me.

"Hello Bella, it's so nice you could make it," he smiled. He was always nice to people and extremely calm. Like when at school Emmett tried to drive his car and hit me with it – it wasn't hard, but I needed a couple of stitches – and Dr. Cullen remained all calm and zoned out straight to Doctor Mode. It was amusing to say the least.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen, it's nice to be here," I smiled. He waved his hand towards where Alice was meant to be as he called it out to her. It seemed I was the only one here, but I knew she invited more than one person. Like I knew Jessica, Lauren, Victoria, Angela and Rosalie we're coming too. I was friends with all of them, we all hung out in this little group and because of that the guys such as Mike and Tyler wanted to flirt with us. Even though I found it at a failed attempt I was happy they only tried once, before I threw up on Tyler when I was ill that day. It was the best time of my life – minus the stomach bug.

I did so much in such little time.

"Bella!" Alice shouted, as she ran down her spiral stairs. She still amazed me how she never fell and broken anything. If I tried doing that then I would be flat on my face after the first three steps.

"Hey Alice," I smiled and went over to hug her. When we pulled apart I pushed out my arm with the birthday present bag and gave it to her. When she looked inside she jumped on me again for another hug.

"O-M-G BELLA! How did you know I wanted this?" she asked, as she took out the necklace and put it around her neck. It was a beautiful silver _**Alice**__ with a little skull above the __**i**__. It was weird how she was quite girly, but loved things as skulls and spiders as such. She was kinda Scene you could say._

"Well Edward saw you looking at it and then told Emmett, who told Ben and Ben told Angela and she said she already had your present so she told me I should get it for you," I said. Then I wondered if I remembered to breathe through out that explanation.

Alice squealed and ran to the stairs, running up half way and stopping.

"Thank you Eddie!" she shouted.

"Don't call me that!" his muffled voice replied. But the 'your welcome' was still there.

I laughed and she walked me to the living room where everything was like a disco. She took one of my bags and took it over to the closet where her stuff was as well and closed it.

"The gals are coming over a little later, except for Rosalie, she's gonna be here soon as well," Alice said and linked arms with me.

"C'mon let me introduce you to Mom. She's like the coolest person on earth," Alice smiled as she linked her arm with mine.

She led us towards the kitchen, and even though I've been here before, I was still amazed by the beauty of it all. It was like a museum to me. Probably to everybody else who didn't live here too…

When we walked into the kitchen a woman around her mid-thirties stood by the stove, moving around quickly, making food. She was a beautiful woman, with caramel hair flowing around her shoulders and her figure didn't even look like she had given birth to three children.

Renee always blamed me that her guy friends didn't want her no more, because of her figure, after I was born. She didn't even want me…

"Hello dear, I'm Esme," the woman said. She was suddenly in front of me, extending a hand and a sincere smile. I was scared to reach out and shake it, but I knew I had to. So I slowly extended my hand and placed it in her warm one, her smile a little wider.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen, I'm Bella," I said, trying to control my voice for it to not shake.

"Please Bella, call me Esme," she smiled and I nodded as I took my hand back.

It was obvious Esme wasn't like Renee; at all. She was a nice woman, with a loving husband, and children that she would never regret having.

*End of flashback*

I closed my eyes and sighed as I turned around in Edward's arms. When I opened my eyes again I was looking at Esme's sweet face hovering not to far from me. She smiled down at me and I tried to force a smile at her, but only one side of my lips obeyed me to smile.

"Morning dear," she said and leaned over to kiss my forehead. Her sweet perfume made me smile. She then stood up, like she was full of energy, and clapped her hands.

"C'mon, get up you two and come down for breakfast, there's still some left," she said, as she moved around the room towards the door. Edward and I nodded and watched as she walked out the door.

Edward kissed my temple and I smiled.

"C'mon baby, get up," Edward sighed. Then I froze.

Why would he call me baby? Why would _anyone_ wanna call _me_ baby?

"Bella, are you ok?" Edward asked. "Shit, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you upset…"

"No, no it's…"I breathed out, "it's ok," I finally said and forced a smile.

He moved his arms from around me and moved off the bed, then walked around the bed to my side to help me up. Edward smiled at me in silence. I didn't make a move to get out, just stared at Edward watching me. He sighed and leaned down; moving the covers off of my body as I stared at him in shock. His hands placed on my waist, Edward lifted me up and out of bed, placing me on the floor next to the bed.

I looked up at Edward and he looked back at me, searching my face. He pursed his lips but then relaxed and kissed my forehead.

"I should give you some clothes…" he said moving away from me. He gave me a pair of jeans that Alice was too small for and a plain tank top. I threw the top back at him.

"What, are you going naked?" Edward laughed.

"No, but I like your shirt better," I smiled, as I moved to the bathroom to change. Edward's smile told me he was pleased with this statement as he laughed. The sound was like music to my ears; his _voice_ was like music to my ears.

I moved quickly; changing my clothes, washing my teeth and trying to brush my hair. But I struggled there. My hands couldn't really grip the hair brush and it kept falling out of my hands because the closed off wounds were stinging my where ever there was a little of pressure.

A knock on the door sounded and the door opened. Edward's head popped through the door as he looked around the bathroom.

"Is everything ok?" he asked, opening the door after seeing I wasn't naked.

"I can't even brush my hair," I sighed and put the hair brush on the sink. Edward moved towards me and took the hair brush then moved behind me, placing the soft hair brush into my hair. He moved it slowly, being extra careful with the knots in my hair. I stared at him in the mirror as he looked concentrated on my hair. After he was done his eyes moved to the mirror and he smiled at me. A smile so real it made my heart twitch a little.

"Thank you," I whispered to him and Edward wrapped his arms around me in return.

"No problem," he whispered back and kissed my neck. I sighed and moved out of the bathroom, back to his bedroom.

Edward took my hand and led me to his door in silence.

"C'mon, we have to face the music now," Edward said, offering me a lop sided smile. I smiled in return but it was a sad smile. I had to tell the truth now, I couldn't lie. If I did I would be lying to family. And I don't lie to family. At least not ever to the Cullen family.

***

We sat at the counter in comfortable silence as we ate our pancakes, bacon and eggs. I have no idea what time Esme is supposed to wake up to make such a breakfast for the whole family; though half it is eaten by Emmett.

"So your mother is back, Bella?" Esme said, after she finished eating, trying to start the conversation that we both knew won't end well.

"Yeah…two years ago," I said, looking down at the food in my plate. I suddenly wasn't hungry any more because at the moment, the food on my plate repulsed me. I guess Edward noticed this as he moved a piece of his pancake in front of my lips, but I shook my head no. I leaned back in my chair and dropped my fork against the plate and it made a breaking sound, even though the plate didn't break. I sighed and Esme moved from to her feet, turning around and moving to the sink.

"You need to eat more Bella," Edward said. I looked at him and shook my head. I didn't wanna touch the eggs or the bacon. I ate the pancakes, but that's because they were sweet. Edward sighed and took another piece of his pancake and put it between his lips. He looked at Esme and then back at me.

Before I knew it Edward's lips were on mine, with the pancake slipping through my lips and my body tensed. My eyes were still open in shock, but I relaxed and closed my eyes just to have Edward pull away. He was smiling at me and I just stared at him in annoyance as I chewed the piece of pancake.

Esme still had her back to us as she washed the dishes.

"Want my pancakes?" Edward asked.

"No, they're yours," I replied to him, moving my plate away from me. The smell was starting to make me feel ill. Edward didn't listen to me and put the pancakes on my plate then took the eggs and the piece of bacon for himself. He moved the plate in front of me now and sliced the pancakes into little pieces for me like I was a little child.

Edward gave me the fork again with a piece of pancake on it and starred at me wanting me to eat it.

"Thanks, but you totally killed the pancake," I smiled, as I put it in my mouth. Edward laughed and Esme did as well. I didn't hear the water stop.

After we all finished everything we needed to do in the kitchen – that included Edward sneaking a reassurance kiss while Esme wasn't looking – we went to the living room and sat down at the sofa.

"So…when should we begin?" Esme asked. Edward held my hand and squeezed it, which meant he wasn't leaving, he was going to listen, and I had to tell them everything.

"The beginning I guess is a good start," I smiled a sad smile.

"We're listening."

I breathed in and out and braced myself. A trip down memory lane was not something I wanted to remember.

_5__th__ July 1998_

I ran to my mommy when I heard her crying. She was lying in bed as she sobbed into daddy's pillow.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" I asked. She opened her eyes, but just cried harder.

"Go, Isabella, just leave me alone."

My eyes started tearing up, but I obeyed her. I ran to my room and jumped on my bed to find a little note there.

_**To Isabella,  
I'm really sorry to do this to you, Bells. I just want you to know that I love you and I will always love you. But your mother has decided you needed another daddy…**_

Love you with all my heart,  
Charlie

_Then I was the one sobbing into my pillow. Daddy was gone._

Edward moved a hand to wipe a tear away from my cheek and held onto my hand tighter.

"You were only five weren't you," Esme whispered. I nodded and Edward moved so he wrapped his arms around me, holding me to his chest. This made Esme smile; her son was such a gentleman.

"Renee brought Phil to live with us then. He wasn't a lover no more, so that meant she got someone _else_ and this time, behind _Phil's_ back. They seemed happy though. He was always nice to me; almost like a dad to me…until he found out about Renee's whoring around…"

_23__rd__ May 2001_

"You bitch! How could you do this again? You done it with your first husband, and I thought you wouldn't do it to me…how could you be so fucking heartless?" Phil shouted. I walked over to the kitchen where the shouting was coming from. I rounded the corner to find mommy sitting at the table with her head in her hands, Phil shouting at her.

"Mommy what's going on?" I asked, as I walked in. Phil turned to me, his eyes softening from the raging anger he held for the woman in front of us. Renee's head lifted up and her face suddenly became angry from the blank expression before.

"Go away Isabella, this doesn't concern you," she said, her voice full of venom. My lip quivered and I looked at Phil who was looking at Renee angrily again.

"The hell it doesn't concern her. You are a whore of a woman and you have a child!" he said, but she cut him off.

"The child was a mistake;" she spoke and glared daggers at me."It_ was the worst thing that ever happened to me."_

The tears ran down my face freely now and I ran upstairs back to my room. I shut the door and locked it then crawled under my covers and cried myself to sleep.

A tear rolled down Esme's cheek and I breathed another deep breath; because this was only the beginning.

"I was seven then, so I understood a little what they were talking about. Yet it still didn't make sense why everybody was leaving me," I explained. Esme nodded and Edward kissed my temple, his stiff body relaxing just a little as I squeezed _his_ hand to reassure _him_ that I was ok.

"That's when the…erm…beating started…" I whispered and carried on with the story.

_7__th__ August 2001_

I sat in my room playing with my doll, content with everything. I had a lot of dolls because Charlie and Phil were always so nice to me and got me things.

"I love you Renee," I said in a fake manly voice, as I moved my male Barbie doll to the female doll in my left hand.

"I love you too Charlie," I said, trying to mimic my mother's voice. I moved the Barbie heads together for them to kiss.

I heard a laugh from the door way and I looked up to see Renee standing there glaring at me. The laugh was an evil laugh and her posture against the door frame showed her date went horribly wrong.

"You think it's as easy as this?" she said her venom filled voice biting into my ears. "It doesn't work like that Isabella. You forgot about the horrible little brat that caused it all in the first place," Renee screeched. She started walking to me and grabbed me by my hair.

"Ouch, mommy this hurts," I wept. She just pulled harder, and then before I knew it I was flying across my room, hitting the door frame. I heard a crunch and pain shot through my arm; my arm was broken.

"Mommy, I'm sorry for whatever I did, just please Mommy, stop," I pleaded. Her eyes were turning red and she charged at me, her hands going for my throat. She pushed my out of my room and held my by my throat, her face a mixture of anger and crazy mixed.

"You are what is wrong with everything! You ruined my whole life! I just wish I never had you…" she spat at me and then dropped me. I was happy I would feel the floor beneath me again, but what I didn't know was that I was falling through thin air. Then I started rolling down the stairs.

My leg broke; twice, my head was bleeding from the cuts all around it…

I lay at the bottom of the stairs, not peeping a sound. Renee's laugh reaching my ears, just as she was watching me in pain as she stood at the top of the stairs.

Then everything blacked out. I didn't know if I died or survived, but the pain was gone for the while. So I was content with where ever I was now.

"And it didn't stop just there. It went on for about five years, even when I started going to school. She told everyone I was just a klutz, because I am, just not as much to have so many near death experiences. This went on for five years or so and I always kept quiet, until my friend Jenna noticed my arms weren't the pale white they normally they were; they started to look blue. Finger prints from Renee; her long fingers left bruises on my arms.

So I told the social services finally, but before they could arrest her, I found out she had admitted herself to a crazy home. So I was sent here to my dad. I was happy then, because I knew that Charlie would never do that to me. Then two years later she came back.

Charlie knew what she had done, but welcomed her back home after she promised she had changed. She promised she would never cheat on him again and that we were all going to be a happy family…_  
_  
So before I knew it, I was inflicting pain on myself. I was scared, and still am, she is going to snap and start everything all over again," I said. My tears were streaming down my face and Edward tried to kiss them away, but there were too much so his lips just lingered on my cheek.

"Oh Bella," Esme said and moved towards me quickly, and took my hands in hers. My body shook with sobs now so Edward just held me that much tighter.

"When you're eighteen, you can move in here with us…if you want you can move in with us now…" Esme said and she looked hopeful.

"No it's fine Esme…" I whispered through my sobs.

"No it's not…" Edward said, against my cheek.

"Yeah it's not fine…how could Charlie be so blind?" Esme said.

"Look, if anything happens or you just want a normal family come here; when ever you need us. Day or night," Esme smiled at me. I smiled back at her as much as I could.

"I will always be a mother to you Bella if you let me, I already think of you as a Cullen," Esme chuckled lightly, patting my leg in comfort. I just nodded and her and smiled as the tear finally ran dry.

"Ok, so Bella, could you try not to harm yourself again?" Esme asked. I didn't answer.

"Please? For me?" Edward whispered to me. I couldn't say no to him; so I nodded. He kissed my hair and relaxed behind me.

Esme sighed and stood up again, telling us she's gonna go get some fresh air and then go to work.

"Don't forget to feed the girl, she has no meat on her bones," Esme smiled. Edward and I chuckled and he nodded.

After Esme left I finally came back to normal again. Edward was always touching me somehow and that calmed me more than ever. He made us lunch and fed it to me like a little child. He kissed me whenever he got the change and I didn't say anything about it because I liked the kisses. They brought me electricity.

We sat in Edward's garden now, his arms wrapped safely around me, as we watched the birds fly around.

"So what do you wanna do now?" He asked. I lifted my head and stared at the clouds. They made the weirdest of shapes. Then I saw a cloud that looked almost like a heart, no it _did_ look like a heart. I nudged Edward and pointed it out to him.

"Look it's a heart," I beamed. Edward looked up and I could hear his smile.

"Yeah…" he whispered. He kissed my neck and just let his lips travel up and down my neck and shoulder.

I still stared at the cloud. The heart was like my heart. Full in the middle somewhere, but cracked around the edges that were slowly heeling with Edward's kisses.

It was then that I noticed that I was head over heals in love with Edward.

**A/N****: I'm not evil…and this isn't exactly a cliffy…but you'll live. So what'cha think? Renee was terrible wasn't she? This took me about 3days to write ! 9 pages as well ! Im so proud of myself ! XD Epicness... SO C'MON REVIEW!**

_**Hi Munchkins, so im really sorry this is only an Authors Note. I haven't been able to write for some time due to school work and things at home…I wasn't even allowed internet for a while…sucks to be me…but whatever's. So the ok news is that im going to Lithuania for the summer so im going to have free – that is when im not at the doctors or dentists or what not… So fear not I will update soon, maybe even Unexpected, Anything For You and Things Change… I keep getting reviews and alerts that people set alerts for those stories and I just feel bad that I just gave up on those stories… So im sorry to leave you hanging but it's only a couple more weeks and school is over for six weeks. Then im in year 9 XD EPICNESS**_

_**Love you all**_

_**Gabii xo'xo**_

_**P.s. I changed my name to gabii-something-person because gabiihunii was too chavy for me…and I cant have no chaviness even in the damn name…randomness I doo XD**_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N****: So hey people. It turns out I can write while I'm in Lithuania so I'm ecstatic. Well not really but whatever. So here is chapter SIX…omg I said chapter SIX…im amazed at myself…and so proud ! Woo go mee ! XD Ok so get on with the reading. But I think im done for with this story. It's my baby, the other's were just dolls. *looks around* I know I sound creepy but whatever…*Slides down the wall and slithers under the bed* GO READ !  
****Disclaimer****: ****I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it…but I do own Scars…and the scars…  
****Song of Inspiration****: Nightmare – Avenged Sevenfold**

Chapter 6 – It's not a love story

When Bella told Esme and me why she had been cutting herself I wanted to kill the thing that gave birth to the beautiful creature in my arms. To be so evil was just wrong and not right. To abuse her own daughter and then years later come back and pretend to be happy family again? No, that was just sickening. Also how could Chief Swan allow this? He knew what Bella's mother had done to her, yet he welcomed her back with his arms wide open. I bet his trousers were down too.

Every time Bella let a tear drop it stung me like a thousand knives. It was soon, but I was falling for her, and I was falling for her _hard_. And I knew she liked me too – I could see it in her eyes. Though that didn't explain why she thought I was thinking of _Jessica Stanley_ while I was kissing the most gorgeous person on earth. Jessica was a slut and tried to flirt with me too many times, but I always turned her down and catching her off guard by telling her she needed to do something that was honestly just in her thoughts.

I held Bella in my arms as we sat on the soft grass in my garden.

"So what do you wanna do now?" I asked her. She didn't answer me but moved her head back and rested it on my shoulder, staring up at the sky. I looked at her face as she watched the clouds in amazement as they made shapes in the sky.

"Look it's a heart," she beamed. I looked up and sure enough the cloud right above us was a heart shaped cloud. It was hovering over us like it was meant to be there, just for us.

"Yeah…" I whispered, as a smile spread on my face. I looked back at Bella as she was still looking up at the sky, her neck and throat stretched. I quickly leaned my head down and left a trail of kisses up and down her neck down to her shoulder. It was one of those sloppy kisses that when the air breezed by it would tickle your skin.

Bella looked up at me when her eyes gazed over at me.

"Thank you for being here for me Edward…" she whispered as her voice sounded pained.

"It's what I'm here for; being there for you," I whispered back. I tried to search her eyes or try to read her like I could with other people but the pain that was in her voice wasn't in her eyes, and I was thankful for that.

Bella sighed and closed her eyes, her mouth left in a soft pout. I took that moment and leaned in to her when she suddenly moved her head upwards, causing our faces to collide in a painful way.

"Ouch," I whispered and she laughed at it and didn't stop until I silenced her with my lips. She still let out a shrug from the laughing for a minute or two but forgot about it after I was hovering over her. She lay on the grass, her arms wrapped around my neck as her hands dug into my shoulder blades. I hovered over her, my weight on my forearms but hands tangled in her hair. It was so intense and in so little time.

I moved my lips against Bella's as she parted hers and stuck out her tongue to trace my lower lip and I groaned into her mouth, embarrassing myself more than I was before. I opened my mouth and slid my tongue into her mouth as hers met mine in my mouth. Our breathing became uneven and we ended up in a situation. My hand was under my shirt that she was wearing and was quickly inching forward towards her bra covered breast while her hands already took off my shirt and was tracing my stomach. Why was my shirt off for the last two days while I was with her?

I froze when two of her fingers hooked themselves under the band of my sweat pants. I pulled away and stared at her in shock.

"Bella," I breathed out. I removed my hand from her stomach and her hand from my sweat pants.

"Bella, we…can't…do that," I said and gulped. Rejection flashed through her eyes and her eyes suddenly became watery.

Why do I always fuck things up with her?

"You don't want me?" she asked, but it she didn't say it as a question, she spoke it like it was a fact. My eyes became wide quickly and I shook my head no and kissed her eyes, her tears leaving my lips salty and damp.

"I do want you Bella, and you have no idea how much…" I whispered and hung my head, my eyes on her still exposed stomach where my trousers were pitching a tent. "Ok so maybe you can see what you do to me…" I whispered and looked back up to her eyes," but we can't get to…third base…. Hell we haven't even been on a date and we're on second. It's just out of order…" I said. She finally relaxed now that she understood.

"So you don't think of Jessica or Lauren when you look at me? You don't find me repulsive?" she asked.

"No. You're the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on," I spoke and I said this with my heart. "From the day you fell into my arms being the klutz you are as you fell over my bag pack. That was the day I was _extremely_ fond of my sister," I added with a chuckle. Bella smiled at me and sighed, putting her hand back on my stomach. I rolled off of her and lay next to her on the grass with a sigh. Her hand dragged across my stomach and now only her fingertips were barely touching it.

"Please tell me you didn't have sex in the damn garden? And if you did you must have used protection…" Emmett said. I turned my head a little and lifted my head to see him standing on the patio with Rosalie on his back laughing into his shoulder. It kind of looked like she was humping him with all the up and down movement from the hysterics.

"We didn't need to use protection Emmett, because we aren't animals, such as yourself and Rosalie, who try it out within the first twenty four hours of being together. Besides Edward isn't that type of guy…believe me…" Bella said, as she sat up and turned around.

"Hey, I take offence to that," Rosalie said extending one of her hands that was wrapped around Emmett's neck and pointed one of perfectly manicured – and of course painted in black – fingers at Bella. Bella just shrugged and laughed.

**[BellaPOV]**

"So you tried to get Eddie in bed to have some fun time and he declined?" Emmett asked, as he put Rosalie down and they – like magnets – moved themselves to stand as Emmett was embracing Rosalie from behind with his arms around her while her hand rested on his forearms.

I looked at Edward and he looked embarrassed and angry and something else that I really didn't understand.

"What kind of a boyfriend is that?" Emmett asked. Boyfriend; is that what Edward is to me? My boyfriend?

My mouth opened and closed cause I tried to answer but no words were really coming out of my mouth. I turned to Edward to see if he has an explanation. Then suddenly Emmett jumped up and yelled.

"Bella, you have to break up with him!" He shouted. I looked at him quizzing.

"He has a vagina and unless you are playing for your same team I suggest you leave him and his weird ways…" He answered and smiled. Before he looked dead serious now he was just messing with Edward because he didn't have sex with me yet…or isn't planning to soon.

"What the fuck Emmett? I don't have a vagina and I'm also not Bella's boyfriend," Edward threw back at Emmett then in a murmur he added, "Well at least officially…"

I looked at Emmett and then at Rosalie and then at Edward. Edward was starring daggers at Emmett while Emmett was just smiling like a Cheshire cat and Rosalie…well she was just being the happy Rosalie she rarely is. She was smiling and laughing and clutching her stomach. Then I turned back to Edward.

"You would?" I asked Edward. He looked at me.

"Want to be my boyfriend?" I whispered to him. Edward smiled his crooked grin that I loved so much and I smiled back at him too.

Awesome; Edward Cullen is OFFICIALLY dating Bella Swan. Guess what? I'm BELLA SWAN!

Emmett just laughed at us and walked back into the house with Rosalie while Edward and I just sat on the grass and stared at each other.

"Do you wanna go on a date with me on Friday night?" Edward asked me once we stepped through the threshold once it had started to get colder and we had to get inside. The day passed by so quickly.

"An official date?" I asked smiling. He nodded and smiled.

"Yeah…I would," I said. Only two more days to go.

We walked into the living-room where the whole family was sitting. Carlisle and Esme in the two-seater love seat, Rosalie and Edward perched on the bigger sofa, Alice and Jasper on the floor and leaving the gigantic couch free. They were all; watching some movie that I didn't recognize but Edward and I sat down on the couch.

"You better Bella?" Carlisle asked. My eyes went up to his face from the screen and he and Esme were smiling genuine smiles at me.

"Yeah…" I whispered. "Also, Esme, could you please not mention what I told you and Edward to anyone, not even my own parents?" I asked looking at Esme. She nodded ok and turned back to the television as the comfortable silence took over.

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Edward sat on the couch and I sat on his lap with my back pressed against his chest. His breathing and soft caressing on my skin lulled me to sleep as the Cullen's watched a movie. It was just the start of it when Edward and I came and joined his family but after less than five minutes I noticed the movie was ending; I fell asleep and didn't even notice it.

Edward lightly brushed his lips against my forehead and I noticed he was whispering something to me. I couldn't really make it out because I was still half asleep, but as my senses started to come back better I noticed he was asking for me to wake up.

"Bella, it's time for you to wake up," Edward whispered in my ear. I opened my eyes and saw the dim lit room around us and the TV showing credits. Edward's arms were around me and I was perched across his chest with my legs curled up across his. I noticed that Jasper and Alice weren't here nor were Rosalie and Emmett. Though the light in the kitchen was on so I assumed that either all of them were there or at least Carlisle and Esme.

"What time is it?" I whispered to Edward and he looked at his phone for the time.

"Ten thirty…" he replied. I jumped out of his arms and stumbled to the floor as I didn't think about my stupid balance.

"Shit, I have to go, my curfew on school nights is eleven," I said in a rushed voice and moved to pull Edward up from his seat. I pulled on his arm and he stood up lazily from the couch. I slid my hand down his arm and to his hand as he intertwined our fingers together. I turned to go but Edward stood still and I could feel his hand tighten with mine.

"Edward, let's go," I said and tugged on his arm which moved limply. When he still didn't move I turned around and saw that his face went completely blank except for the anger in his eyes. The emerald green looked almost black…

"Edward, what's the matter?" I asked him walking closer. His eyes flashed to mine and his jaw tightened. Did I do something wrong?

"You're going back to that vile woman again?" he said, his voice strained. I sighed and rested my hand on his chest and leaned my forehead beside it.

"Yeah…I have to…Renee –apparently – still is my mom so I have to…I live there remember…" I whispered in his torso.

" Yeah…but you could live here…" Edward said and his voice broke. I moved my head to look at him and squeezed his hand.

"I survived two years with her here…and also I have you now…don't I?" I said. My voice was the same tone but the 'don't I' was really meant as a different question because just because he says he likes me doesn't mean that he really means it. Maybe somewhere deep down he does like me but, how could a god love something so plain? I was plain and I was broken and I came with a lot of baggage. I could never change my past even if I wanted to.

"You're right…you have me now…even though you had me before too…" Edward whispered and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I smiled at the sweet gesture and lifted my head a little and pecked him on his cheek. He obviously couldn't handle it and moved my mouth to meet his as his free hand cupped my face.

When Edward pulled away he smiled at me again but it was a sad smile. A really, really sad one.

Edward told Esme he was going to drive me home so she could call Charlie and tell him not to worry. Also so that Renee wouldn't go mental again.

I walked hand in hand with Edward out of his house after we said goodbye to everyone and walked towards his silver Volvo that was going to save me one day; like it nearly killed me once too.

"I'll pick you up for tomorrow," Edward said after we pulled up at my house.

"What about Rosalie?" I asked as I unbuckled my seat belt.

"Emmett will drive her."

"Ok."

I stepped out of the car and started walking around it when Edward got out of his side too. He quickly jogged to my side and took my hand in his. I grasped it tightly because I knew I needed the strength to go back inside that house. It was worse now that I remember everything and the memories were flooding back to me quicker than light. To know what Renee did and still think she was at least a little bit sane was just insane.

"You have Alice's number, you have my number, hell; you have the whole families numbers so call if you need anything," Edward whispered to me as we stood at the steps of my house. I nodded and breathed in deeply, trying to savor his scent. Edward leaned down and kissed me again but I was too worried that Charlie or Renee would be watching that I couldn't move my lips so Edward just pecked me goodnight.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said, as he walked back to his car. I smiled and waved him bye as I took the keys out from my bag. I heard the Volvo drive away and I slipped the key in the key hole and turned it, the click of it sounding like thunder in the silence.

When I opened the door I didn't know what I was to expect; a home free of Renee and Charlie coming to his senses? Or the same fuck up life I live in since two years ago? The second was most likely.

I stepped inside the house and pulled they key out before shutting the door behind me, moving my hand to turn the light on in the little corridor by the door. I took my shoes off and walked inside the so-called living-room where the smell of Charlie's fish fry was still there; like always. I walked towards the kitchen where there was a dim light and was. But before I could reach the kitchen Renee pounced on me like she was the world's best detective to solve the crime that had the whole world worried about.

"Where were you?" she demanded.

"Sleep over at Alice's, I thought Esme called?" I asked, as I walked to the kitchen and towards the fridge where I took out an apple.

"_Esme_? Since when are you on first name basis with the Cullen's?" she asked. I stared at Renee and her eyes were already hurting me. I knew she only pretended to be nicer so that Charlie didn't do any shit to her. I bet she still cheated on him.

"Since I've been friends with Alice, Emmett and Edward, and now I get to call her _mom_ too if I want," I said. I knew I threw it in her face but I wanted to anger her. I wanted to anger her so she would burst, so I wouldn't have to think she would just hurt me in little ways that showed no sign of her abuse, just my clumsiness. If I had to I would nearly die, just so she would get put behind bars.

"Nonsense I'm your mother," she seethed. I stared at her. She wasn't a mother to me, she never was.

"You may be the woman who gave birth to me but you are also the woman who nearly killed me," I said looking straight at her eyes. I could see her breaking but she still kept her cool.

"You better not see them again or you will be grounded," she said and those were the last words before she went upstairs to pretend to be the perfect wife to Charlie.

I knew I would get nightmares but I honestly didn't care now because I would get to see Edward in the morning and he would kiss me and make everything okay again.

I went upstairs and had a shower, taking longer than I should to wash my hair and everything before I stepped out and looked at myself in the mirror. I stared at the scars on my arms and I could finally feel the pain of them. I would heal quickly but that didn't change the fact that those lighter than my skin lines were because of Renee; the woman who was supposed to be my mother.

I went into my room and went straight to bed setting the alarm clock on and just lay there staring at the sealing. My hands were on either side of my head and I felt a piece of paper underneath one of them. I picked it up and looked at it and no doubt I wouldn't fall asleep now.

_**Show this to no one baby or I will make sure no one will see you. Now listen to me clearly, be the good little daughter I know you will never be and keep to yourself. No more Cullen's, nothing. Because I will make sure that what happened to you while you were younger was just the beginning.**_

Love Renee xox

No, I wouldn't sleep tonight. Or any time soon. I knew it was too good to be true that she was being good and well. I knew that she was bursting open inside if not out. She was going to kill because I ruined her life and her little sick game of 'Most Painful Ways To Hurt Isabella' because she wasn't gonna give up and I knew it. Renee was going to fight dirty, mean and mental until the very end.

And I knew very well I wasn't able to stop her.

**A/N****: Not a cliffy. Well maybe a little but whatever it's not like a lot of people read this crap. So Right now it does seem all smooth and shit but the drama and well the above is going to come in soon. I don't know how long this story is gonna be but I don't think it's gonna be longer that about 20 chapter because I don't think I can push myself to write that much anyway. I'm amazed that I wrote six chapters. I'm so proud XD Also I wanted to add; the change of POV was totally an accident I didn't even notice 'til I wrote a page and a half… Well anyways then press that button underneath this and review so I can be happy and write more – even though I have like 5 readers XD**


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